I just realized something while I’m right here waiting for the traffic to move..
For three years I have been sulking and making excuses as to how I disliked my course and that I’m not enjoying it. I made it a reason why my grades are so low and why I am not happy with my college life. I was acting as if I didn’t have a choice that I entered my course. To be honest, and now that I think about it, those were just that. Excuses.
Let me give you a back story.
My first course choice was Architecture and the second was Accounting, which were the ones I wrote in the college entry form when I applied. I didn’t make it through those courses though, instead the university gave me a list of choices where there are still available slots. I can’t really remember which ones I chose, but I distinctively remember putting HRIM (Hotel, Restaurant and Institution Management) as the third choice. I did that because first of all, it was a fairly popular course back then and secondly, I didn’t really know what else to choose as the list was very limited.
After a long wait, I received the confirmation that I got into the HRIM course. My very last choice.
But still, I had a choice. I could have gone to another school but I didn’t care, what mattered most back then was that I was in the most prestigious school in the Philippines.
As months go by, I started to realize how unhappy I am with the course I’m in. I’m a very introverted girl and being in the people-oriented industry, it is a very big disadvantage. I still pushed through but I’m definitely struggling. I know that if I really try, I won’t be struggling as much.. but I don’t know. I just don’t feel the motivation.
I constantly avoid looking at my grades. They are not bad, I haven’t failed any thank goodness. What makes me sad is that I could’ve done better and I didn’t.
I guess what I’m trying to point out in this is this: try to find your passion as early as possible and try to pursue it. What I did wrong was that I was too blindsided by the fact that the university was a prestigious one instead of just going for another school which still has slots for the course I prefer.
On a positive note, I also appreciate the things I learned from my course so far. It’s not really my passion, but I find parts of it very interesting. I started to appreciate food and even learned to cook some.. Cake decorating is one of the things I discovered too and I want to further explore that. It’s not all that bad.
Really, it’s all about perspectives. If you want something positive you’ll eventually see it. If you don’t stop looking at the bad aspects, you’ll fail to see the good ones. I have been trying to bring back the optimistic side of me that went on vacation because of all the things happening. It’s a process, small steps have to be taken.
I had the guts to finally dedicate a post about this here because of other people who have talked to me about their problems about pursuing their passion or their course. Most of them are concerned of their parents’ expectations, financial issues etc.
How about you? Have you had these kinds of dilemmas?